Brush With the Law

Yeah. I'm terrible at this.

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:13:31 GMT

Since I last wrote I took a job in Philadelphia and quit it. I joined the Foreign Service, was told I'm moving to Brazil, and learned to speak Portuguese. Next week I start functional training, and let's be honest -- I'm really, really ready to get the hell out of here.

That's me. What are *you* doing?

What up, my nerds?

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 14:46:43 GMT

These days, you're more likely to find me here.

Does anyone still read this?

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 21:17:28 GMT

Perhaps no. If you do, please note that I tumble for you.

Lipstick on a pig

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:02:24 GMT

I think he meant to say it exactly like that. And I think it was exactly awesome.

Barack, here's my advice -- if they ask you if it was a misstep, you say "no." It was exactly what you meant to say. Sarah Palin, a smart woman, has allowed herself to become GOP Barbie. Adorable quips about lipstick and hockey mom and PTA, a smile, a wave, and then silence. Skirts and only skirts, shoot moose, Miss Congeniality Alaska. That's what the GOP has made her, and she's let them do it.

Now people are trying to defend you by saying this was "inartful," or a "mistake." Bullshit. I certainly hope you knew exactly what you were saying -- because I think it was perfect and perfectly accurate. Two weeks ago, John McCain couldn't attract attention standing on his head spitting wooden nickels. He has, quite literally, put lipstick on a pig. Or a pitbull. Actually, someone help me here -- is she a pitbull or a hockey mom? I really didn't get that joke. Whatever.

The point is, the Alabaster Musketeers of the GOP are already effing this up by using it as an opportunity to rise to the chivalrous defense of Sarah "Barracuda" Palin -- because Obama's comment lays completely bare what I've suspected from the beginning, and they know it. Sarah Palin isn't the pig, she's the lipstick. Literally and figuratively. By her own assent.

Governor Sarah Palin was someone I admired -- tough, smart, funny, and capable. She had all kinds of wacky ideas, but didn't seem interested in in actually implementing them. She was courageously pro-life enough to keep her disabled baby, but not so pro-life that she fought for health insurance for children or subsidized childcare for working mothers. Candidate Sarah Palin is the GOP Spokesmodel, hair and makeup always perfect, always smartly attired in a skirt (never pants), delivering her eight or ten memorized lines with a practiced cadence and a grin, and letting her ~~Grandpa~~ running mate's handlers tell the press that she would talk to them when they were ready to sit cross-legged like good children and select their questions from the list they were provided. I can only wonder what Governor Palin would think of Candidate Palin. Not much, I suspect.

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 02:01:08 GMT

I'm little more than twenty minutes into Amazing Grace, Michael Apted's 2006 film about the 18th century British abolitionist William Wilberforce, and I feel entirely confident already recommending it to everyone I know.

My favorite quote so far: "Do you intend to use your voice to praise God or to change the world?" If you're doing it right, friend, you'll be doing both at the same time :).

Also, Youssou N'Dour is in it, which is incredibly cool.

RIP, Vicky Moore

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 19:31:04 GMT

I don't have much time at this moment as I'm knee-deep in some tapes of a terrible, terrible attorney trying to salvage an awful case . . . but I wanted to take some time to mention the passing of Vicky Moore. She died on Tuesday. I met Vicky on my first day at law school when she sold me coffee and encouraged me not to make it a habit. Vicky ran the Irish Cafe, which was mostly just a counter, a toaster, a soda fountain, and a fridge in the corner of the law school lounge (read: smelly basement). According to A.J. Bellia, it used to be called the Snack Hole, which is a more appropriate but less marketable name. Anyway. Vicky was probably the most universally-loved person at the law school. She ran the cafe from 1994 until her retirement in 2005, when we threw her a huge party that everyone came to except the Dean (surprise, surprise).

For most of that time, Vicky was battling the extremely aggressive cancer that eventually took her life. When she lost her hair as a result of chemo treatments in fall 2004, she came to school on Halloween dressed as a monk. She was a passionate supporter of the Relay for Life.

But mostly, she was incredibly kind to a lot of students under stress, and she did more to create an atmosphere of trust and honor in the law school than the Hoynes Code ever did. A million times when I was late for class and needed caffeine I was grateful for Vicky's "take it now, pay me after class" philosophy. She left the soda machine on 24-hours during finals and relied on the honor system to ensure that only those students who had purchased a soda during business hours refilled their cups. She took special requests and remembered our birthdays.

There wasn't anyone else like her at the law school and there won't ever be again. We'll miss you, Vicky.

Last updated eleven weeks ago . . .

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:04:54 GMT

Oops :).

Anyway. Since then, I moved and started a semi-new job. Also since then, my dad was deployed to Kuwait for a six-month tour as the commanding officer at Camp Morrell in Ali Al Salem. He's doing fine (though my mom doesn't think he's sleeping much) and seems to be kind of bored most of the time. One of his colleagues has a kid whose third grade class has been writing letters to the guys stationed at Camp Morrell asking what their lives are like there. The only thing they can think of in response is that they don't like using plastic utensils. So, yeah.

But Dad's in charge of lots of stuff in lots of places, which he has to travel around and look at. He's been to Kenya, Ethiopia, Djibouti, and all of the finest tourist destinations in Iraq. Hopefully he's taking lots of pictures and writing down lots of stuff, 'cause I started writing too. I don't know what it is yet, but it might be . . . something. We'll see.

Most importantly, though, we just got official notice of his return flight plans. Which is awesome. He lands in Gulfport, Mississippi on March 10 and into Philadelphia on March 12. We're planning a Leahy-Scale party for that particular occasion, so get excited.

Anyway. There's lots to blog about, really, not the least of which is my imminent bankruptcy due to proximity to all kinds of great live music. Ugh. So, though I'll certainly eat my words, look for actual updates.

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 12:29:32 GMT

So, sometimes you sort of stumble across music that changes your life a little bit. And by "changes your life" I mean "brings out a dormant obsessive streak you had forgotten about." Such has been my experience with Jenny Owen Youngs. I first heard her voice on Weeds, the exceptional music director for which scored a particularly nasty moment in Nancy Botwin's day with JOY's "Fuck Was I." Then last night I shelled out $8 and walked ten blocks to see her perform at the tiny, tiny Maxwell's here in Hoboken (a place I last patronized in 1999 to see Moxy Fruvous) and from the moment she took the stage and said "What's up, motherfuckers?" I had a brand new girl crush.

Buy her records. See her shows. Potentially take her home afterward.[1]

[1] I did not, but, man -- I came close to asking. Which is saying a lot.

Per Bakerloo

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 13:31:42 GMT

1. What happens when you assume?
You make an "ass" out of "u" and "me." According to Miss Mahon.
2. What are Beth and Cheese up to lately?
Beth: Now a nurse on the renal ward at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Just bought a house in Collingswood, making her the first of us to own her own home.
Cheese: Just took a job as a civilian engineer with the Army at Picatinny Arsenal in North Jersey. Somehow, despite having lived at home for 18 months making an engineer salary, he has not saved a dime. We're not quite sure how he's going to move.
3. What are you most proud of thus far in your life?
This is a good one -- 'cause I don't really know how to answer it. Probably putting off law school for a year to volunteer.
4. If you could go back to HS and do one thing differently, what would it be?
Study. Seriously. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I actually sat down and studied.
5. Did you ever make out with Harry?
Nope. I am convinced that Harry is asexual. Emily Grimm apparently got so fed up with it she dumped him.

iPod Engraving

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 15:41:49 GMT

So, I ordered a new iPod yesterday. By the miracle of Apple's super-fast shipping, I should have it, like, Saturday. I thought about polling to find out what I should have engraved on it, but I just did it anyway.

But I'm interested to know what's engraved on your iPod or what you would have engraved on it, given the opportunity. Unacceptable answers include "Don't get it engraved -- how will you ever sell it on Ebay?!" and "Help! I'm trapped in an iPod!"

When I get to my parents' house tonight I'll post what I actually did have engraved on it. Woo hoo.

Emm-mania!

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 13:53:21 GMT

Emmy nominations are out. I'm only halfway through the list, and I've already picked my winner for Best. Nomination. Ever.

In the category of "Best Music and Lyrics" --

Song Title: Dick in a Box
Justin Timberlake, Music and Lyrics By
Andy Samberg, Music and Lyrics By

Y'all, it has to win.

Oh, and also -- Yay, Jenna Fischer! It's a tough category, what with Jamie Pressly, Elizabeth Perkins, and Vanessa Williams turning in great work every week on their respective shows . . . but, man. It's nice to see a good person who made it through hard work get recognized :).

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 20:17:42 GMT

According to my peeps at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart (for the blessedly uninitiated, the campus church at ND), there has been something of a push from a group of alumni/ae for the institution of a once-a-week Tridentine mass at the BSH, if not the addition of such a thing to the regular Sunday schedule. This comes just after Dick Warner issued a fiat to the Campus Ministry staff that he wants at least one dorm on each of the quads to hold a daily mass on Friday nights. Leaving aside the absolutely ridiculousness of the latter, the former will never happen. Or, at least, it shouldn't. And there are two main reasons.

The first is a healthy dose of ideological opposition among the major figures on campus who would promote such a thing. For example, when I was a law student, a group of undergrads organized a Novus Ordo in Latin on Saturday mornings in the Alumni Chapel. I was impressed by their initiative and investment and told the RAs about it at our next staff meeting so they could share it with their residents. I had no sooner stopped talking (and the RAs had nodded with interest and written down the pertinent info) than the rector loudly and sternly informed us all that saying mass in Latin was "against everything Vatican II was about." Now, that's complete crap; in fact, Vatican II was "about" just the opposite. The instruction on the liturgy says in no uncertain terms that Latin should be preserved, particularly in chant; but, of course, it also famously vests individual bishops with the authority to permit the offering of the eucharist in the vernacular. And, of course, the order of the mass was drastically revised, and permission to use the old form (the Tridentine) must be specifically granted and for a reason.

But the fact remains that lots and lots of rectors (not to mention at least 90% of the Campus Ministry staff members I can think of off the top of my head) would fairly vehemently oppose the offering of a Tridentine mass. Some of the reasons are good (it would create a clique of students/staff/faculty who prefer one right over the other and put stupid and unnecessary pressure on the students who aren't really big on the Tridentine) and some of them wrongheaded (see the above "against Vatican II" thing). Some of them are just ill-informed, really; there's an assumption among many people who work in college ministry (and ND's crew is no exception) that college students need some kind of direct stimulus associated with their religion to stay interested (see Four:7, the Christian Rock Show with special pink t-shirts).

And second we have the logistical nightmare. Finding a priest (or priests) willing to put this on once a week will be more of an uphill battle than anyone expects, not just because many of the priests old enough to have been trained in the Tridentine rite will refuse for the same reasons listed above, but also because many of them will certainly object to the mass being celebrated as a "curiosity." I have to say, this latter issue never even crossed my mind until last year I asked a priest to say a mass in French in the dorm chapel and he refused. He thought it would be akin to "putting on a show." And despite the fact that we asked him to do it as part of a French cultural event to welcome a French exchange student to the dorm (a student who had been through a bit of a nightmare after getting stuck in a room with two freshmen who weren't exactly kind to her) I kind of got his point.

Aside from the priest issue, there's the music issue. Tridentine mass requires a ton of chanting. And complicated chanting at that -- which requires a ton of musical preparation. The two-person music staff at the Basilica just can't be expected to add that to their already-unreasonable workload. This summer, for instance, there are exactly two organists available for weddings: the two who are also the director and assistant director of Basilica music. As the assistant director (one of my very best friends) put it, it would be like telling the Director of Campus Ministry and the Rector of the Basilica (who will both be taking month-long vacations this summer) that they each had to take five weekends, eight masses a weekend (six weddings, the Saturday vigil, and the Sunday 10:00 AM). During the school year, there are masses and weddings every weekend (except football weekends, which are an entirely different kettle of fish which includes a live 8:00 AM mass for the Hallmark Channel because the vigil runs over 1.5 hours those weekends), participation in "mega choirs" for major university events, and two or three special masses every month requested by the development office for major donors (and, of course, all of them need an organist and a cantor, if not a full student choir).

So on top of that, they have to recruit and prepare a choir to sing a Tridentine Mass? Sorry. Not going to happen.

weaklingrecords's Fourth of July Quiz

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 15:38:47 GMT

I was in the 'Bend for July 4th so I missed this. But I like to show off the fruits of my expensive education.

1. Who wrote the Declaration of Independence?
Thomas Jefferson
2. When was the Declaration of Independence signed?
July 4, 1776
3. Who was declaring independence from whom?
The colonies were declaring independence from the English crown -- namely, King George.
4. What was “taxation without representation?”
The prime complaint of the colonies -- that they were being forced to pay taxes to England without an ability to influence the English government.
5. Who said, “Give me liberty or give me death” and what did he mean?
Patrick Henry. He meant that American colonists would have to take up arms to liberate themselves from England -- and, consequently, that he would rather die fighting for the freedom of the American colonies than live under British tyranny.
6. What does the phrase “separation of powers” mean?
It means that our three branches of government perform distinct functions and should operate independent of the influence of the other branches. Is "checks and balances" down the list someplace?
7. What is the Bill of Rights?
The first ten amendments to the U.S. Constitution.
8. What rights are afforded to US citizens under the First Amendment?
Freedom of speech, assembly, religion, and the press; it also provides citizens the right to petition the government for redress of grievances, but I admit I have no idea what that means.
9. What are the three branches of the United States government?
Executive, legislative, and judicial. And Dick Cheney.
10. What are “checks and balances?”
Mechanisms contained within the U.S. Constitution to ensure that none of the three branches becomes too powerful. For instance, the Senate can impeach the President, the President can veto legislation passed by both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court can declare laws signed by the President unconstitutional, Congress allocates money to federal agencies and passes the laws they enforce, etc.
11. How many Justices are members of the Supreme Court?
There are nine justices on the Supreme Court. The Constitution does not specify its size, but the number was set at 6 by the Judiciary Act of 1789. It has had as many as 10 justices. FDR tried to expand it to 15, but Congress shot him down. Anyway. Since the passage of the Judicial Circuits Act in 1866, it's had nine justices.
12. How does the Electoral College work?
Each state is allocated a certain number of electoral votes according to population based on the most recent census data. The total number of electoral votes available is 538. Most states award all of their electoral votes to the candidate who wins the popular election in that state. A candidate must receive an absolute majority of 270 votes to take the presidency.
13. How many Senators are there?
100
14. Who casts the deciding vote if there is a tie in the Senate?
The President of the Senate. Currently, that's Dick Cheney, who is also the Fourth Branch of government.
15. When was the Constitution ratified?
1787
16. What is Manifest Destiny?
A phrase used to express the belief that the United States should stretch from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
17. When did women receive the right to vote?
Universal suffrage was granted by the 19th Amendment, ratified in 1920.
18. When was the Civil War?
1861-1865
19. What were some of the causes of the Civil War?
The decline of Southern farm production, the rise of Northern industrialism, growing animosity of the Northern colonies over the practice of slaveholding, and, mostly, the election of Abraham Lincoln.
20. What was the 3/5ths Compromise?
A compromise reached at the Constitutional Convention of 1787 that 3/5ths of the slave population would be counted for the purpose of distribution of taxes and, I believe, the apportionment of the House of Representatives.
21. Who were the Abolitionists?
Advocates for the abolition of slavery.
22. What did the Emancipation Proclamation do?
Declared the emancipation of the slaves in those confederate states that refused to return to the Union.
23. What was the Underground Railroad?
A network of abolitionists that arranged for the transport of slaves from "slave states" to "free states" or to Canada.
24. Who were the Carpetbaggers?
Northerners who traveled to the Southern states following the Civil War to take advantage of economic and political opportunities but who had no intention to stay.
25. What was Reconstruction?
The post-Civil War effort undertaken to resolve the issues which caused the Civil War and to address the return of the confederate states to the Union.
26. How many Presidents have been assassinated?
Four: Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, and Kennedy.
27. How many Presidents have been impeached?
Two: Andrew Johnson and Bill Clinton
28. How many Presidents were born in Michigan?
I admit, I Wikied this. None.
29. What was the United States’ involvement in World War I?
Weird question. The U.S. resisted involvement in WWI until 1917, when German U-boats sank the Lusitania, which was carrying U.S. citizens. After some more hesitation, the U.S. began sending troops to France in the summer of 1918 and declared itself an "associated power" of the allies. The war didn't last long after that.
30. When did WWI take place?
1914-1918
31. What was the League of Nations? Who proposed it?
Essentially a precursor to the UN -- a council of representatives of the nations of the world. It was proposed by Woodrow Wilson.
32. What was the United States’ involvement in World War II?
The U.S. entered WWII as an allied power following the bombing of Pearl Harbor by the Japanese. U.S. forces took part in both theaters of operation -- European and Pacific.
33. When did WWII take place?
About 1939-1945.
34. When was D-Day?
June 6, 1944
35. When was V-E Day?
May 8, 1945
36. When was V-J Day?
August 15, 1945
37. How many atomic bombs were used in WWII?
Two
38. Where were they used?
Nagasaki and Hiroshima
39. What were Jim Crow laws?
Laws restricting the access of African Americans to public facilities and services.
40. What does the phrase “separate but equal” mean?
That public facilities and services provided to African Americans would be seperate from those provided to whites, but equal in quality.
41. When was the Pledge of Allegiance written?
The late 19th century.
42. When were the words “under God” added to the Pledge of Allegiance?
Sometime in the 1950s
43. What was the Civil Rights Movement?
The movement to fully integrate African Americans and other minority groups into American society.
44. When was the Civil Rights Act signed into law?
1967
45. What did “Brown v. Board of Education” do? When was it?
Specifically, tntegrated the public schools in Topeka, Kansas. Generally, declared that de jure racial segregation was a violation of the equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment. 1953.
46. What was the Domino Theory?
Not a clue.
47. Who said, “Speak softly but carry a big stick?”
Theodore Roosevelt
48. Who said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself?”
His cousin, FDR
49. Who said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country?”
John F. Kennedy
50. Who wrote the Star-Spangled Banner?
Francis Scott Key

John Mayer's Youth is Gone and Here's How I Know.

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 03:15:58 GMT

I remember flipping channels one day on the couch in the social lounge at the Zwartezusteren Huis in Leuven and catching a shot of a live concert by the Backstreet Boys. They were sort of in decline at the time (this was 2001, so they were at the beginning of the mushy, pasty, and hollow-cheeked stage, but not quite at the public- drug-use, girlfriend-beating stage). They were sort of desperately grasping to hold onto the core of their fanbase, but, well, Lou Pearlman is no Karl Rove, and the death rattle was audible. Really, though, there was nowhere for them to go. Their music was stuck in time, but not in a linear historical way, but in an historical-anthropological way. That is to say, their albums slid right into a dual-plane intersection of trend and population. A whole lot of prepubescent girls were getting a little mobility at the same time the rest of the world was starting to roll its eyes at the Seattle scene (not to mention the fact that almost everyone involved with that scene was either in rehab or dead). That, really, was the perfect storm that made millionaires of the Carter clan.

I know this not because I could see the faces of the kids in the concert clip. I knew it because of the banners attached to the front of the stage. The 'Boys 2001 tour was being sponsored by Differin. That's acne medication. Acne. Admittedly, I only knew what the hell the stuff was because at the time my newly-adopted Belgian beer-and-fries lifestyle had resulted in a rough spate of adult-onset dermatological eruptions; but at 21, Differin wasn't looking for my dollars. I had already aged out, and, sadly, so had the rest of the people who were by then embarassed that they'd purchased the "Quit Playin' Games With My Heart" single. The Backstreet Boys' window was open for only a few years while the planets aligned; and by then it was closing. Oops.

What does this have to do with John Mayer? His first major label album, Room for Squares, came out that very year. Whether Mayer was an evil genius or just another accidental tourist on that same cosmic bus, I have no idea; but he picked up those fans that the Backstreet Boys were losing with his sensitive-dude songs about how lame high school is ("No Such Thing"), how much cooler he was than everyone thought in high school ("Bigger Than My Body"), and about how sensitive a dude he really is ("Your Body is a Wonderland"). And besides being geekily handsome (the precursor to the EMO aesthetic, really), he was an actual musician and even his sappiest songs were sorta clever -- so the prepubes could age gracefully out of the boyband and into something better suited to their newly-refined tastes. Admittedly, I (and lots of other people) figured he was kind of a douche. Well, a musical douche -- I'd never met him in person.

Anyway. Teenage girls fucking loved it. I don't know who sponsored those first tours, but I wouldn't be surprised a bit if it was Midol. And now I'll get to the relevant part. John Mayer is going on tour this summer. The sponsor?

Blackberry.

We define lots of eras by consumer icons. Cabbage Patch Kids. Tickle Me Elmo. X-Box. iPod. The Blackberry is no different. It's word association time. I'll start.

Blackberry.

What was that? 25-year-old corporate weasel social climber who's never had a real job with a venti Starbucks no-whip mocha in one hand and the other feverishly punching buttons on his little plastic crack machine? And, um, Bluetooth?

That's how I know.

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 02:53:00 GMT

Today was my every-other-Friday off and given that my air conditioning wasn't working (ugh), I decided to take in Judd Apatow's Knocked Up. Judgment: excellent.

I confess a bit of an Apatow fetish, but the internet tells me I'm not alone, so I shall not be ashamed. There's a lot to say about the movie, including that Katherine Heigl was only okay (and, well, super-hot). I guess it's tough to consistently be the worst actress in everything you're in, so I cut her a little slack. Apatow gets everything she's got out of her here; but the chemistry between Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen that gave The 40 Year Old Virgin such excellent balance is on full display and is what makes the movie worth the price of admission.

Even given the little I knew about the movie before I saw it, I figured the abortion issue would end up causing some controversy. The trailers give away the basic plot -- Heigl and Rogen have a one night stand, Heigl gets pregnant, Heigl decides to keep the baby, Heigl and Rogen decide to raise it together. It didn't take long for someone to label the film as a pro-life propaganda piece (see, Dana Stevens' piece at Slate). Because, after all, the pro-choice movement is all about freedom to choose -- so long as you choose to have an abortion. In the end, it doesn't seem that Apatow takes a stand one way or the other; really, abortion wasn't an option because, well -- no movie that way. But I have to give him the Hollywood Brass Balls award for putting the crassest line of the film in the mouth of the character most fervently pushing abortion.

Alison's Mom: Take care of it.
Alison: What?
Alison's Mom: Look at your step-sister. She got pregnant, took care of it, and now she has a real baby.

Other people will disagree, but I think that's where Alison decided to keep the baby. And, to my mind, it's a pretty fucking profound commentary on the pro-choice mentality.

So, anyway. See the movie.

Wed, 30 May 2007 12:23:37 GMT

The New York Times has <a href = "http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/30/business/30leonhardt.html?pagewanted=1>an excellent article</a> this morning about Lou Dobbs, the bigoted idiot CNN has legitimized. I'm not typically a CNN opponent; among the major news networks, I tend to think it's the most objective and has the best coverage of international events (well, aside from the BBC, but I am a child of basic cable). The U.S. immigration system is broken. We have no way to keep out the people who shouldn't be here, and every attempt to do that results in the exclusion of people who should be here. The longer I work in immigration law, the more I shift toward the belief that borders are essential immoral; but their elimination isn't even within the spectrum of possible solutions at this point in history, of course. I do know, though, that Lou Dobbs and the rest of the pundits who demonize immigrants through misinformation and fabrication (immigrants are coming to take your jobs, rape your women, and give you leprosy!) aren't helping one damn bit.

Thu, 24 May 2007 13:23:57 GMT

I'm hot 'cause I'm a microwave. You ain't 'cause you not.

Wed, 16 May 2007 02:17:44 GMT

I just downloaded the new Wilco album. It's no Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, but that doesn't mean I'm going to get any sleep tonight.

Tue, 15 May 2007 13:54:13 GMT

Further proof that WXPN is the world's greatest radio station -- they're playing TMBG's "Don't Let's Start" right now.

Thank God for streaming radio.

Oh, also -- the two best things I saw on a stage this year (Spring Awakening and The Coast of Utopia) got beaucoup Tony nominations. Yay.

{Refrain}
Don't don't don't let's start, this is the worst part
Could believe for all the world that you're my precious little girl
But don't don't don't let's start, I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 17:56:43 GMT

So, I'm doing a bit of research for one of the judges on the Tatar minority in Kyrgyzstan (and I actually love this part of my job -- for reals) and I ran across the site of something called The Joshua Project. Needless to say, it scared the hell out of me. For those of you (who reads this shit anyway?) who haven't the heart or upper body strength to click on the link, it's an internet-based demography project dedicated to sociologically identifying groups of people in remote parts of the planet who haven't had the benefit of Christian enlightenment. Now, I've always been pretty positive about my Catholicism and appreciate and understand and embrace it; but it's moments like these in particular that I'm grateful it's what got passed down to me.

About seven weeks ago, some friends from ND drove out to spend part of their Spring Break sleeping on my floor in Newark (and, for the record, had a fantastic time -- suck it, Newark haters!). One night during their trip we sat up and drank wine and watched Jesus Camp, Rachel Grady and Heidi Ewing's documentary about a Pentacostal summer camp for evangelical Christian families. Two of the Spring Breakers were recovering evangelicals themselves (one a Catholic convert, the other basically an atheist), and I was pretty floored by their reaction -- not because they were horrified, but because they weren't. They could both point to events in the movie as completely commonplace parts of an evangelical childhood (special attention given to children who can pray in tongues, feeling like it was your obligation to rat on your friend for watching Harry Potter movies, etc.) The documentary focuses heavily on Becky Fischer, the camp director, who seemed to me to be completely nuts. But as Emily (the converted Evangelical) pointed out, Fischer talked at length (honestly, ad nauseum) about her personal mission to save as many souls as she could. "At least she gives a shit about other people," said Emily (the convert). "Most evangelicals I knew took some sort of sick satisfaction in their belief that they were going to heaven and lots of other people are just going straight to hell."

So as much as Project Joshua freaks me out, I guess I sort of envy the people who run it the passion of their faith. Their love for God and concern for others is so clearly profound and so real to them that they devote what appears to be a huge amount of time to the project of bringing Jesus Christ to people who might otherwise go their whole lives without knowing about him. And I understand all the pitfalls of that kind of mentality and I can't say I actually support the effort; but, man -- I can't remember the last time I was really excited about or committed to anything, let alone making sure that other people didn't go to hell. Most of the things I manage to get excited about pretty much confirm my own eternal damnation.

So, while I'm not so cool with the focus of the energy, the energy itself is pretty inspiring. Imagine what we crunchy, lefty, human-rightsy people could do if we gave that much of a damn about other people. And, I guess, had Ted Haggard's pantload of cash too.

Lacrosstitutes

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 14:20:19 GMT

Lost in this whole Duke lacrosse scandal is one question: what did the Duke lacrosse players do to earn themselves the kind of reputation that would end up exploding into this kind of mess? Look -- I understand that all three have been cleared of all charges. I haven't seen any (repeat, any) of the court documents, but I've suspected all along that the guys at the party just treated the woman like shit, maybe refused to pay her, and she thought this would be a way to get even. The guys clearly had every intention of conducting a raunchy party with strippers and tons of booze. It's pretty clear that they didn't rape this woman, but it's also clear that she didn't show up unannounced to their rosary club or something. They invited a woman to their house to take her clothes off, they were all wasted, something got out of hand, an overzealous prosecutor got involved and the shit hit the fan.

Let it be said here that I in no way mean to minimize the seriousness of this woman's actions. She leveled an unfounded felony charge against three men that is destructive not only for the legal consequences it carries, but also for the social stigma it portends. Even a completely unfounded accusation of rape casts aspersions on a person that can be impossible to overcome. It is never in any way, shape, or form acceptable to levy such an accusation against someone merely as a way of "getting back at them."

But what I don't get is this -- when the accusations first came to light, it didn't seem like a single soul at Duke University doubted for a second that they were true. The students were immediately placed on leave, lacrosse season was immediately cancelled, and students were holding "Take Back the Night" rallies within days. It was only later, when some holes developed in the stripper's story and there was some evidence that at least some of the players had left the party before the stripper even arrived, that anyone backed off.

So I am left wondering . . . the lacrosse players had certainly earned themselves a reputation on campus prior to all this, hadn't they? I went to a school with a major lacrosse program and the players were completely notorious for being first rate assholes and date rapists. If someone had told me that they threw a party with strippers and raped one of them in the bathroom, I probably wouldn't have doubted it for a second. Perhaps that demonstrates my biases; but I think it says something a lot deeper about college athletics. A few years back, a woman accused a few Notre Dame football players of rape. She ended up dropping the charges, not because they were unfounded (rumors suggested quite the opposite) but because she was spit on in public. More than once. She was called a whore on the internet. All because she had made the mistake of calling to task some men who, in the eyes of a community of which she thought she was a part, are beyond reproach.

Those of us who spent time as students at Notre Dame know that while many of the men on the football team are really nice guys, many of them aren't. Many of them treat women like garbage, barely appear for class, and generally skate by because they can. They know that the athletic department will provide them with tutors to make sure they at least pass. They know that some enamored alum will always give them a job. They know that, if nothing else, they can probably just come back to ND and get a law degree or an MBA if no one else will take them.

Many college athletes take both their educations and their roles as ambassadors of the universities they attend; but a lot of them don't. A lot of them act like pigs and victimize women and never get caught because the women in question are shamed or harassed into keeping quiet. The Duke lacrosse players certainly didn't deserve what they got as a result of a serious false rape accusation; but I don't believe for a second they hadn't earned a reputation that would permit their classmates to believe the accusations were true. Thousands of men and women get free university educations in exchange for their participation on athletic teams. Many of these athletes get degrees from places like Duke (and Stanford, and Harvard, and, dare I say, Notre Dame) that provide them access to resources that will ensure that they will never be without the things they need. How many of them consider for a minute how their behavior reflects on the universities who give them that privilege? Not enough, I think.

Yeah, I never update this thing

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 03:22:00 GMT

But I will today for a funny quote from a Wonkette commenter:

Coulter is not a dyke. It is asexual. Like all bacteria.

Good times. Good times.

I just made a retirement election

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 14:57:54 GMT

Now, where'd I leave my Geritol . . .

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 00:14:22 GMT

Holy shit. Molly Ivins died.

Boo hoo KMac

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 01:01:59 GMT

Well, it's all over the internets by now. On December 28, 2006, Kevin McAlarney (ND's star point guard) was pulled over for driving eratically after the game. He rolls down his window and the cop smells pot. He asks KMac, "Is that pot?" KMac responds, "Yes." The officer orders KMac out of the car and searches it. He finds half a joint. By law, two presumptions arise: because it's in his car, he's presumed to be in possession of it; because he has possession and the end is burnt, he is presumed to have smoked it. So he's arrested.

He enters the St. Joseph County pre-trial diversion program, which is available to all first-time misdemeanor offenders. Then it's ND's turn. Under du Lac, a student who is found guilty of possession of any drug, including marijuana "shall be subject to suspension or dismissal." So KMac gets suspended for the spring semester and, as is the general policy, he is additionally restricted from campus for the summer. He can reapply to the university to be readmitted in Fall 2007. Allegedly, he left his Res Life hearing after ten minutes to go to practice.

The NDNation would have you believe that Saint Kevin has never done a bad thing ever in his life. The pot probably wasn't his. He probably had no idea it was in his car. That smell? No idea. Cop probably imagined it. And Res Life? A bunch of mouth-breathing, bottom-feeding hellions who go home at night and masturbate to the suspension letters they issue. Clearly they must be, because "shall be subject" means that maybe somebody might be suspended or dismissed. Also, KMac was expelled -- expelled! Those bitches from Res Life have demanded his exodus from the loving, supporting, billowing embrace of Notre Dame, where he could have been supported and loved. Now he has to go back to the scurvy flats of Staten Island where, ostensibly, he will receive daily beatings. Except probably not, because his parents have been moaning to the media about the University failing their son. The University at which their son's attendance was entirely willing and which he attended completely free of charge. Even KMac himself got into the press act. "Notre Dame couldn't forgive me, but I'm going to show them what forgiveness is all about."

And then the alumni enter, stage left. Bill Kirk is a motherfucker! Res Life is worse than the Gestapo! Oh, I know -- Fr. Jenkins will save us! Everyone send him a letter about what an asshole Kirk is (because clearly he rules the Dome with a titanium fist, and don't forget to dump on his wife while you're at it) and he'll totally charge right down to Student Affairs and slap them around and then meet the plane that brings KMac back. And probably hug him. And absolve him of his sins. Because that's what Catholic universities should do, right?

Give me a fucking break. Do you know how many kids would kill to get into ND and didn't? And how many never will? Do you know how many kids get no financial assistance to go to ND and had the common decency to read the contents of the disciplinary standards to which they're subject and know that they could fuck everything up by having drugs? I know it seems hard to believe, but 99% of ND students manage to make it four whole years without ever being arrested -- and some of them aren't even athletes! Shocking! But I guess all you guys have meticulously reviewed KMac's Res Life file and have determined that the decision to suspend was so completely unjustified that it demands public outrage. Fr. Jenkins has to intervene so that the University can "save face"? I've got an idea. Shut down ND Nation if you want to save face. That place is an absolute embarassment to the University.

So, don't expect an ounce of sympathy from me. You don't want to be known for "one mistake"? Don't smoke pot in your car. It's not hard.